A Clarification and Elaboration

I want to thank those of you that have already commented on my previous post or brought up the topic in non-blog, three-dimensional conversation. The interest and willingness to dialog has been encouraging.

However, since writing my last post I have kind of regretted something I wrote:

So while the trajectory of our journey has a likely destination--becoming Orthodox--it is by no means a foregone conclusion. I am more than willing to entertain the possibility that I (we) might ultimately reject Orthodoxy. And it is not completely outside the realm of possibility that at the end of the journey I won't even be Christian any more.

I say "kind of" regretted it because I wouldn't actually retract the statement, but it seems that it has been slightly misunderstood and shifted the focus away from the real thrust of the post. People's reactions after reading it seem to have been something like, "oh my gosh, Brian might be 'falling away.'" Even Shannon told me that it was scary to read.

So let me elaborate with two metaphors.

We are on the cusp of a major commitment, kind of like marriage. And I believe that the marriages that have the best chance of being successful/healthy are the couples who, during courtship, fully entertain the option of NOT getting married. The decision to commit the rest of your life to someone is so much richer and more real if it is freely chosen with eyes wide open.

(This metaphor unfortunately breaks down a little since I already got metaphorically married. I chose to become a follower of Christ long ago, so in a sense it's kind of like I'm open to divorce, which, when it comes right down to it, I guess I am--if my spouse is abusing my children, for example.)

Enter the second metaphor. The court case was settled years ago, but some notable evidence may have recently been discovered. Does it not behoove the courts to reopen the case? And doesn't a fair trial--ie. an honest search for truth--require an openness to a completely opposite verdict? If the judge and jury are not open to the possibility that the defendant, who was previously found innocent, might be guilty, then the trial is a sham.

All I meant when I said, "it is not completely outside the realm of possibility that...I won't even be Christian any more," is that I am fully committed to a fair trial. That's not to say I don't expect the defendant to once again be found divine.

If Christ is the Truth then my search for truth is bound to lead me right back to Him. And maybe--hopefully--I will come to a deeper understanding.